My family has a lot of Christmas Day traditions. Like, a lot. We have traditions for when we wake up, what we wear, where and when we open presents, what types of presents we open at which times, when we eat meals, when we take photographs, what we take photographs of, and so on. It’s a whole thing.
One of the more unique traditions we have (probably) is the recitation of poetry—which is done after waking up but before the first round of present opening. In prior years this has usually just been a random missive taken from the internet about love or family or the festive season. Lovey Hallmark-esque stuff, y’know?
Anyway, this year was one for unprecedented times and the new normal, so I wrote a poem instead.
Well fuck This year started off a bit shit With Brexit and impeachments And the way those bushfires got lit, then A virus came and kicked our asses Which made everybody have to ass-ess What we had to do and how to work at home And then we did that for ever and ever And ever and ever and ever and ever And ever ’til life was a monochrome Mess, and the days kept flying by With little room to move And nowhere else to fly But we all did it anyway Cuz it’s for the greater good And it’s no longer faraway Cuz it’s in your neighbourhood Fast forward to today and a lot remains unchanged We’re all increasingly e-stranged, de-ranged And for that we’ve had to ex-change Away some of our party favours So that instead we can be, life-savers So we’ll use up some silent nights and stay in our quiet homes Forget the face-to-face in favour of FaceTime on our phones For a social distance Christmas doesn’t have to be forlorn But hopefully next time ‘round it’ll be in the new norm